Outside, Looking In
by thinktink2
Summary: A look at Nick's relationship with Adalind from a different perspective, because it's worth noting that it raises some questions that haven't been answered. This version takes place within the Coming to Terms sphere.


AN: A snippet inspired by a comment from Angel Starbeam, whose mind's inner workings I always enjoy getting a peek at. Hopefully this does the remark some justice.

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She showed off Kelly to a couple of patrol officers who had stopped to ooh and ahh over the baby while she waited for Nick. Kelly was just a month shy of his first birthday, but already he was quite the player, charming people easily wherever he went and the man and woman in uniform were no exception.

Nick jogged down the police steps and smiled in greeting when he spotted her and she quickly bid her adieus and joined him on the sidewalk.

"Hey," she said, giving him a kiss, and Nick placed a hand on the small of her back and guided her down the street.

"Hey yourself," he said. "Don't have a lot of time, but we can grab a bite to eat at this bistro down the street if you like."

"Okay," she said agreeably. It was a nice day, sunny, the weather seasonable and she was meeting Nick for a rare lunch date so she was in good spirits. Kelly leaned over the seat of his stroller, watching the wheel spin round, a sun hat shielding his face from the rays.

"Busy day at work?" she asked Nick, glancing at his profile. A short lock of dark brown hair stubbornly refused to stay in place with the others, falling across his forehead. He looked from side to side, a subtle surveil of his surroundings that one probably wouldn't notice, but Adalind had seen him do it too many times not to see it.

"Yeah," Nick said, but didn't elaborate. "You and Kelly look like you're enjoying the day," he noted, smiling at his son, leaning down as he walked for a moment to capture Kelly's attention away from the wheels.

"Yeah, we've had a busy day. We'll both be ready for our naps after lunch," she said, and hoped Kelly would go easy on her and make his a long one.

"Must be nice," Nick replied. "I could do with a nap."

Adalind snorted lightly. "Maybe you should have used your time in bed last night more effectively," she remarked, glancing at him.

"Hey, I didn't hear any complaints," Nick retorted.

No, he hadn't. Had heard the opposite as a matter of fact. She gave him a look, and bit down a smile. He glanced up as they rounded the corner and came among some of the shops.

"Have you eaten here before?" Adalind asked, looking at the bistro. There were a few tables on the sidewalk, half of them filled, most of the inside seated as well.

"Yeah, a few times," Nick said, reaching for the door to hold it open for her.

"Nick? Nick Burkhardt? Is that you?"

Nick paused in reaching, brow crinkling, and turned to the owner of the voice. Adalind turned as well, felt Nick's hand brush along her back briefly before he removed it, and looked at a pair of women perhaps a year or two older than her staring at Nick.

"Oh my god, it is you," one of the women said, a tall, attractive dark skinned woman. The tanned brunette beside her fixed Nick with a scowl, and Adalind glanced at Nick questioningly. The realization of who was before her didn't appear to sit well with the darker skinned woman, and she, too, fixed Nick with an unhappy expression.

"Do you know these people?" Adalind asked quietly. Someone related to one of his cases? Former suspects?

"Adalind, why don't you take Kelly inside and get us a table," Nick said quietly, stepping away from her and towards the two women.

"I don't believe it," the first woman said. "I had heard you had a baby—"

"Oh my god," the brunette said, stepping forward. "Is that her?" she asked, pointing at Adalind. Adalind looked up in surprise, taken aback by the venom in the woman's voice. Had she done something to her? She didn't recall ever meeting either of the women before.

"It is, isn't it?" the woman exclaimed. "Oh my god!"

"I'm sorry, do I know you?" Adalind asked, and only just registered a dark look cross Nick's face before it disappeared just as quickly.

"Do you have anything to say for yourself?" the woman asked Nick heatedly.

"You've got some nerve just showing up here with her, after what you did to Juliette," the first woman hissed at Nick. "Unbelievable."

"Sheila," Nick said in the placating voice he used for difficult witnesses. That appeared to upset Sheila even more.

"No!" she exploded, and the brunette beside her looked ready to jump in any moment, too. "After what you did to her—I mean I just couldn't believe it when she told me. And to think she tried to stick up for you, explain it away, after what you did, and then _this._ All this time you were busy taking up with this…this _tramp_ ," Sheila sneered, and Adalind felt her face go warm. She realized the patrons on the sidewalk were watching them with interest, and Adalind felt her cheeks flood with color.

"So you finally had a baby, huh? Juliette wasn't good enough?" Sheila said, waving her arms at Kelly, who also was watching the goings on with unbridled fascination. Adalind pulled his stroller back beside her protectively. "Congratulations," Sheila added sarcastically. "I hope you have a nice life together."

"You broke Juliette's heart," the brunette said, and Nick set his mouth in a thin line, and stepped forward, in front of Adalind, and placed his hands on his hips.

"Look, I'm sorry for how things turned out, but it was a long time ago, and we've all moved on," Nick said slowly, as though he was trying to keep a reign on his emotions.

"Yeah, I see _you_ have," brunette responded sarcastically, and Adalind almost jumped in with a sharp retort of her own. "What about Juliette? I mean she just left. What choice did you give her?"

"Bree—"

"She loved you, you know," the brunette—Bree, apparently-said coldly. "Who the hell knows why now. I thought you were a decent guy. Then she said it was over between you, and that she's leaving town and then she just ups and disappears. Looks like you're just like all the other garbage. No one's heard from Juliette in months! I mean where the hell is she?" she added accusingly, looking around Nick to Adalind and Nick turned to her.

"Go inside, I'll just be a few minutes," Nick said, looking back at Adalind, and his tone, though calm, brooked no argument. Adalind looked back at the two women glaring hatefully at her and nodded after a moment.

She maneuvered Kelly's stroller into the bistro awkwardly, still acutely aware of the looks she was receiving from the patrons, and more rattled by it than she would have ever been in a previous life.

The server seated her next to the window, towards the back of the shop where she still had a good view of Nick arguing with Sheila and Bree, or at least Nick shouldering whatever barbs they threw at him without expression. He leaned forward after one exchange, one hand still on his hip, near his badge, while the other gestured in the air for a few moments.

Whatever he said wasn't well received as the brunette slapped him hard across the cheek. Adalind could see his jaw clench from her spot inside and whatever he said next finally resulted in their dissipation. The two women stalked off, not without a couple of parting volleys and Nick watched them go before turning to go inside, smiling distractedly at the patrons on the terrace watching him. He looked around the interior, finally spotting Adalind near the back and took a seat across from her.

"Did you already order?" he asked, as though nothing had happened and Adalind looked at him incredulously.

His face and cheek were red where the brunette had connected—had to be stinging with pain-and Nick flipped open the menu, ignoring Adalind's attention.

"Nick," she said in a whisper, "what the hell was that?"

"Nothing," he said dismissively. "Just a misunderstanding, let's enjoy our lunch, okay?"

"Are you kidding me?" she said, voice rising before she remembered to lower the volume. "Who were those women?"

"No one. Just some old friends of Juliette," Nick said, "they won't bother us again," he added.

She stared at him.

"Do they think—" she began but Nick cut her off.

"Let's just enjoy our lunch," he said again, returning a smile to Kelly and then looking out the window. The move gave Adalind an excellent view of his inflamed cheek and she snorted.

"Fat chance of that," she said and Nick turned back to her, annoyed. "They don't know what happened to Juliette?"

It was Nick's turn to snort. "Do they know she turned into a Hexenbiest and killed my mom, tried to kill me, Monroe, you, and anybody else that got in her way? And then supposedly died and was resurrected as a secret government agency's killing machine? No."

Well, when he put it that way.

"All they know is we broke up, and she disappeared from Portland."

"But they think you cheated on Juliette with me," she said, and Nick pressed his lips in a thin line.

"I don't know what they think," he said. "Can we talk about something else?"

"No," she replied, because she was suddenly struck by a thought that should have occurred to her a long time ago. Or one that did, and because of the circumstances at the time, she never gave it more than a fleeting thought or a flip remark, more concerned about her own well-being and her baby's than the strange and difficult situation she had thrust Nick into.

"They do. They think we had an affair when you were with Juliette."

He glanced at her with a slightly perturbed expression and peered closely at his menu. She stared at the top of his head, the dark, thick hair there tousled from the wind, and another thought hit her.

"What do the cops at the station think about us?"

"Who cares?"

"What do they know, I mean, most of them know you were with Juliette right, so what do think of me? How do they think you and I got here?"

Nick sighed quietly. She waited patiently. He glanced at her before looking back at his menu and replying.

"I think some of them know we have a child together."

"You told them?"

"No, I mean most of them have seen you. Several of them remember you from when you came down to the station when you were pregnant with Kelly."

Right. She could imagine how that looked. Adalind visibly pregnant and Nick's agitated response to her, the scene that played out in the corridor.

"They think we had an affair?" she confirmed. Nick sighed.

"No, they think _I_ had an affair."

"That you cheated on Juliette and got a woman-me-pregnant."

"Probably. I don't know. We don't all really talk much about our personal lives, and I don't talk much about my personal life with anyone outside of Hank, period. It's none of their business how or why Kelly's here or why we're together."

"What about Juliette's friends."

"What about them?"

"Well, don't they wonder what happened? Why you're not together anymore. Where she's at?"

"Who knows. I'm not Juliette's keeper," he said shortly.

"They think you had an affair, too. That you cheated on her with me and that I got knocked up. That Juliette found out, right, and that's why you guys aren't together anymore," Adalind said.

"Well, it's not too far from the truth, is it?" Nick replied somewhat testily.

"Yeah but you didn't cheat. You didn't know you were sleeping with me."

"Still doesn't change the fact you got pregnant and Juliette and I had broken up. It's not like I could tell them what really had happened. Anyway, I had a baby to take care of and that's what I did."

They were both quiet for a moment, Kelly the only sound at the table. She glanced at Nick, studiously ignoring her in favor of his menu and looked down at her own menu, the words blurring. Yes, he had stepped up when she had demanded it of him. Yes, he and Juliette were already separated when Adalind dropped the bombshell she was carrying his son on him. But whether they all had the finer details right, Nick had slept with another woman whether he had known it at the time or not. And now he was being vilified by everyone who ever knew him but not the situation.

"So they all must hate you, huh? And me. They must hate me for taking you away from her," she ventured quietly, feeling a profound wave of shame wash over her. Nick was a good guy. Devoted and trustworthy, and she had singlehandedly tarnished that by being the other woman in Nick Burkhardt's twisted love triangle, one that he had been thrust into without even his knowledge.

"Adalind, don't worry about it."

But she did. It bothered her more than she wanted to admit that he would be viewed so lowly by those who had known him. A lying, cheating bastard. Messed around behind a nice, decent, _good_ girl's back and got another girl pregnant. One he couldn't even stand.

Not then. Maybe now, but thinking about this Adalind was hard-pressed to find something lovable about herself and the situation she had put on him.

No she hadn't meant to get pregnant when she had slept with Nick, but she had definitely meant to ruin him. Tricked him into thinking he was spending an afternoon in bed with Juliette, his one love—a woman he was soundly devoted to. Had thought she would have to grin and bear the whole messy process of sex with a Grimm-with Nick-and instead found herself even enjoying it a little. Remembered thinking she could almost go another round with him if she had the time. He was good in bed, attentive and demanding, but that wasn't why she had been there. She had been there to take something of his that he had taken from her.

She had taken far more than his Grimm powers, she saw now. She had showed up at the police station, pregnant and looking for him, and had created a big scene when she left with him. Half the floor had to make sure what they probably all knew as his current girlfriend and some other woman didn't have some sort of violent domestic dispute at the precinct, because that other jilted woman had found out her man had cheated on her with the most damning evidence possible, staring her in the face, standing right behind Nick. Nick caught in the middle of defending something he felt obligated to because he was so damned noble and responsible from the woman he had loved.

She wondered what they thought of him now, what they thought of her.

He was still with his undeserving baby mama. She had mostly left him alone at work, albeit for a few trips to visit him here and there in the last few months. He had never made her feel as though he was ashamed of her, or their situation, that he didn't want her coming around the station, but as she reflected back on her trips there she realized no one interacted with her but Nick, Hank, Sean and Wu, and now she wondered if that was because of other officers' perception of her. Had she made his life even more difficult at work with her selfish behavior? He had been—and still was—a good detective, but he was also a good cop, strong values and a solid moral compass, or so maybe it had seemed until her.

Did the fact he was still with her after a year raise his esteem any in his coworkers' eyes? Did they even know? Did it help any that he was still with the woman he had unknowingly impregnated? Did it make up for the loss of Juliette, in their eyes? Did she measure up to what they had known of Juliette, and Juliette and Nick?

Probably not, she thought. She was a far cry from the type of woman Juliette had been, and she and Nick were an even farther cry from the type of couple they had been.

"I'm sorry," she blurted out, and was horrified to discover that she had tears welling in her eyes. She looked down quickly, not wanting him to see and elicit his sympathy or pity. She didn't deserve it. Could see that now, clear as day, not that she hadn't contemplated that fact before, but to think that Nick was being ostracized over something he had had no control over upset her greatly.

He was a good, decent guy.

"Hey," Nick said softly, "I said don't worry about it. It's okay."

It wasn't, but she picked up her menu and focused on it and not Nick's face, knowing if she looked at him she would do something embarrassing, like cry her eyes out. She just nodded and said in as normal a voice as she could manage, "Have you tried their club sandwich?"

"They don't have any idea what really happened. You and I both know there's more to it than what they can see. It's okay," he insisted.

"No it's not," she retorted. "You shouldn't be blamed for what happened. You had no idea you weren't sleeping with Juliette."

"I suppose I had some idea when I looked back on it," he said, and she flashed her eyes at him in surprise, but his head was bent down. "You were far more enthusiastic and aggressive than she ever had been before. It made sense once I realized what you had done. Who I had been with," he said, eyes on his menu.

"Yes, well, again, after the fact. It's not your fault you got stuck with all this," she said, waving her hand at herself and Kelly, who smiled at his mother's funny gestures.

"I don't regret it, if that's your concern. It got me Kelly, and I'm not trading him for anything. It got me you, too, and that hasn't been as bad a deal as you make it out to be. Strangely it's all worked out all right so far."

"It got you a slap on the face," she said, ignoring his comment and looking at his still reddened cheek. "And a loss of respect from your coworkers."

"Not really," Nick said and she raised her eyebrows in polite disbelief.

"Hank, Monroe, Rosalee, and Wu, and the Captain all know what really happened. No one else really cares, and I don't care if they do. Like I said, it's more complicated than they can even fathom, so it's not a big deal, and no, I haven't tried the club sandwich," he added dryly.

"I think that's what I'll have," she said, closing her menu with a snap. He looked at her for a moment, and she ran a hand through her hair and ignored him. It had been such a nice day, she thought, until twenty minutes ago. She had been lost in her little bubble, Kelly, and Nick and her, like they were when they were at home in the loft, where almost no one could intrude on her little family fantasy life.

Except today someone had. Had brought her back to earth with one good blow and now she couldn't just pretend as easily that they were all together because of happy circumstance, that Nick was the wonderful guy whom she had had a baby with and would settle down and be happy with for the rest of her days.

Nick _was_ a wonderful guy, not perfect, far from it, but then so was she, but a _nice_ guy. She knew that now, but he deserved much better than her, and the mess she had given him to deal with.

They had both agreed long ago, when their feelings for one another were starting to take the form of romantic ones, that they both couldn't change the past and what had happened between them. They had agreed that Kelly was the most important thing and that to give him the best life together they needed to let go of what had happened. Nick had surprisingly done that with little to no hesitation once he had held Kelly that first time, and Adalind had been cautiously optimistic that they might manage this whole parenting thing together.

The server came and took their order, interrupting Adalind's thoughts, and Nick looked at Adalind when he left, taking in her troubled expression.

"I can't make it better for them," Nick said, and she raised her eyebrows in silent question. "E—Juliette's friends. They're always going to be angry and hurt because they're never going to be able to fully understand or know the truth about what really happened. What she really is now. To them I'll always be the one to blame because of circumstance. We had problems...and yes, you showed up, expecting Kelly, and then suddenly Juliette was gone. You and I both know it's not as simple as that. If they're pissed at me for eternity, so be it. I've got other concerns now, not the least of which is you, and my son, and whatever Wesen issues come up, and that's more than enough to deal with. I don't give a damn about what anyone at the station thinks about us."

 _Easy for you to say_ , Adalind thought. Normally she wouldn't care, either, what anyone thought but she was aware of how ruthless and unlikeable she had seemed before when she had been a Hexenbiest and now that she was only human the relationships mattered more. People's opinions mattered more. She didn't want to be known as the bitch Nick got stuck with because he got her pregnant. She wanted to be the type of woman that deserved a guy like Nick. The kind that people didn't say, _What's he doing with her?_

Nick focused his attention on Kelly, playfully teasing him, smiling boyishly when Kelly grinned widely at his dad, showing off the four teeth he now possessed. Adalind wondered at his ability to put the interaction with Sheila and Co behind him. His cheek had to be still stinging, although maybe not with his Grimm healing.

He glanced at Adalind, still smiling at his son, his eyes lingering on her expression and he glanced back at Kelly before heaving a quiet sigh, and turning his attention back to her. He reached across the table and pulled her hand towards him, enveloped it between both of us.

"Adalind," he said. "Really, don't let it bother you. It doesn't bother me."

"Really?" she scoffed. "It doesn't bother you that people think you're a cheat, and a liar?"

"Not the people that matter to me," he said. "Believe me, I'm used to people thinking a lot of things about me, and most of them are wrong, especially those that don't know me. Come on, you wanted to have lunch, let's enjoy lunch."

"Does it hurt?" she asked, reaching her hand out to touch his cheek, before the server arrived with their food and she had to pull her arm away.

"Not really," he said, when he left. "Why? Is it still red?"

"Yeah, a little," she replied. He ran his knuckles over said cheek and shrugged a little before digging into his food.

Adalind rolled her eyes and picked up her fork and allowed Nick to direct the conversation to mundane topics. She didn't want to spend their lunch with the pall of Sheila and the other woman hanging over them. She rarely got the chance to spend lunch with Nick, he was usually so hectic with work, so it was a special treat when he would set time during the day that he usually didn't have to spend it with her.

Actually the more she thought about it, the more she resented the two women for the interference in their day. Nick was right. _What happened with Juliette was a long time ago_ , she thought summoning an appropriate amount of righteous anger.

Of course, the same could be said about her interfering in Nick's and Juliette's lives.

It was hopeless.

No matter how she might try to spin it she was deserving of their disgust.

Perhaps Nick was right to focus on the here and now, not the past and what could have or should have been. It would make you crazy. She smiled briefly at something he said and focused on enjoying her meal.

He strolled beside her, still chattering on about random topics, hands in his back pockets, as Adalind listened to him and Kelly make noise as they walked back to the precinct. Nick subtly did his area surveillance thing, his family's safety always the most important thing in his mind.

Adalind, too, looked more at the people around her, looking for scowls of disappointment or critical looks like the ones she had received. Most expressions she saw were polite smiles, people responding to a young family and the baby between them, who was bent over the safety bar of his stroller to stare in fascination at the wheels rolling along the pavement.

They reached the steps and Adalind paused as Nick turned to her.

"Well, I guess I better get back to work," he said, and she nodded. "Bye-bye, Kelly," he said waving and Kelly didn't bother to look up to respond. Nick smiled again at his son, and knelt down in front of him, finally garnering Kelly's attention. Nick smiled animatedly and waved again. "Bye-bye," he said and Kelly hesitantly brought an arm up in response to mimic his father.

"Bye," he said to Adalind and leaned in to kiss her.

"I'm sorry," she blurted out again. "About…everything," she finished lamely, aware her apology was woefully inadequate for all the pain and suffering she had caused him—was still causing him.

"I'm not," he said. "Not about that, anyway," and pressed his lips against hers, lingering against her mouth for a few seconds.

"I'll see you tonight. Be good for mommy," he told Kelly and jogged up the steps. She watched him stride confidently across the terrace, and managed a brave smile when he looked back at her. He gave a little wave and said something to an officer who held the door open for him and was gone from her view a second later.

Adalind sighed and glanced again at the people around her before looking down at her son.

"Kelly, I think it's time for our nap."

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Good? Bad?

Ugly?


End file.
